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Sunday, March 27, 2011
10:40 PM

"Who do you think you are. Running 'round leaving scars. Collecting your jar of hearts. Tearing love apart."

I can't go on a day without thinking, who are you when no one is looking. Your real, true self. The person that you live with within. Well you built up a world of magic. Impress everyone you know. YEAH YOU BUILT UP A WORLD OF MAGIC. Enchant everyone around you.

Do you, do you ever feel that... let's face it, your real life is a mess! Selfish and secretive. Hiding your real self because you're afraid... afraid no one will really accept your flaws and faults? Or, do you do it because you regard that as none of anyone's business? Either reasons show the ugly truth of you.

I once thought you will change your selfishness into selflessness. And now I know I was mistaken. For time has proven I was wrong. I feel like I'm waiting for something that isn't gonna happen. Stop, tell me the truth cause I'm confused.

Have you ever thought about who you really are? Are you loved for who you are? If you were loved, it might not have been for who you really are. Do they really know you? They love you for your talent. They love you for your look. They love you for... Well, technically, the love was never there. Love does not exist if it's not based on being known for whom one really is.

You're a prince. You're a wolf.
You are, you are, you are what you is.

I'm trying to help you show your real self. I tried, I failed. Le Sigh.

"You're gonna catch a cold.
From the ice inside your soul."

***

When will I ever stop lying to myself. Who do I think I am.

These worries are heavy, they rest on my shoulders~
My body won't let me fall victim no more~
Yeah life is like that, beat me up and I'm fighting right back~
Poof poof be gone, I see the devil linger on, yeah I wanna win
~

I feel great fear and reluctance when I think of that because I read it as a difficult and trying problem that will stretch us to our limits. I know I can only surrender to that and let it happen and that I don't really have much of a choice in the matter, but I guess I'm still looking for some sort of reassurance.

"When you're around someone so much, for so long, they become a part of you. And when they change or go away, you don't know who you are without them."

Let's be honest? Can we.

MEow: So much to say, so little time...

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jqMEow |

be happy.
love life.

+齐meow
09 July 1990

Typical ♋ian;
I'm a suffering soul and sometimes lose control of my emotions. I need you to be understanding and not give up on me.

I don't want to own anything until I know I've found the place where me and things belong together.

✉ tan.jiaqi@live.com

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