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(zzz)
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
8:36 PM

I'm bu(zzz)y! doing nothing.
因为我生病了。。。

MANY HAPPENINGS! in the lives of people around me, that definitely affects me. I'm staying strong but falling apart...

Minutes ago, my younger brother messaged me. He will be awarded this Friday, during the Passing Out Parade (POP)! and he wants me to keep it a secret from the parents. I was looking forward to hear him telling me he will sign on. I believe my parents will like to hear that from him too. However, for some reasons, he decided not to sign on. He believes that after his Operationally Ready Date (ORD), he can help the daddy with work. Also, he thinks that the brothers need him. WHY! How can he be selfless, thinking of the family. While here I am. Selfish as always. Instead of showing care and concern to the brothers, I'm ignoring them. Keeping to myself, feeling miserable. I want to show and share my love to them, like how I do towards my friends. But it turns out to be hatre. Everything happened... time never wait for me. I go the hard way, hoping they will understand me for being harsh in my words. But I doubt they did. So now, I feel sorry. Yet, I really want to SAY OUT EVERYTHING! like how much I hate blah blah blah. HAI. WHO IS HERE TO LISTEN TO ME! :'(

Everytime I want to tell someone, I choke back my words. I d k why. I will be thinking... is the person willing to listen to me, etc. But what actually am I scare of, I need someone who can handle me... not many! There is someone I'm very sure he can. U'know... I'm not difficult. I will cry till my eyes drop (no, I'm kidding!) till my tears dry, then I will silently speak out (if not doze off). CAN YOU GET WHAT I WAS SAYING! I need your time and patience. Hai. Hai. Haisss...

我真的很希望你会。。。
How? will I know if you're willing to hear me...
I wish you will be the one to ask me, how am I.
This time! I'm gonna tell you... I'm not good, :(

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jqMEow |

be happy.
love life.

+齐meow
09 July 1990

Typical ♋ian;
I'm a suffering soul and sometimes lose control of my emotions. I need you to be understanding and not give up on me.

I don't want to own anything until I know I've found the place where me and things belong together.

✉ tan.jiaqi@live.com

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