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07/07 12:12
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
12:12 AM

It's 07/07 12:12 now! [♥-ly digits]

Sometimes I wish a special someone is here 24/7.
Whom I can speak out (everything in my heart) to.


Somehow I know it is not about the people around me.
It is about ME, whom always keep to myself.

Finally (Just now), I spoke to my mother regarding work (hmm...)! Since the 24th June (or before), I've been keeping something about work. But I never mention to anyone, because I don't have the courage to (and I don't find the need to). Except for 2 persons, who MUST know to protect/make decision for me. Sadly to say, my dearest mother is not 1 of the 2. But I always wanted her to know, yet it is (to me) an awkward and sensitive issue... so I dragged to date, and I was right about her reaction. 'Every parent will protect their child!' I felt relieved after letting out to her and we even made jokes over it. But honestly, I hate myself for worrying her (I know she is). As she will offer to buy me junk food (Kinder Joy, etc) to cheer me up, which doesn't really help this time as this 'secret' has been hurting me in a way (mentally), with the images flashing through my mind... I wish I can take the pills to forget it. Well... at least I spoke out to her, and that's partially why I wanted to quit in this chaotic place (I believe I don't belong there). Yet, there is/are something holding me back... maybe I'm used to the environment? maybe I'm lazy to push myself to a better level? maybe I'm afraid to step out for a new challenge? maybe... SO MANY MAYBES. But I know for sure, I'm staying for one good reason... and that's to accompany the juniors (and I enjoy their company too)! It's either now, later or troubles! Le Sigh.

jqMEow |

be happy.
love life.

09 July 1990

Typical ♋ian;
I'm a suffering soul and sometimes lose control of my emotions. I need you to be understanding and not give up on me.

I don't want to own anything until I know I've found the place where me and things belong together.

✉ tan.jiaqi@live.com

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