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Who will?
Friday, February 12, 2010
2:38 AM

No one will understand how I'm feeling now...
Because I don't even understand myself, already.
(You will not know how badly I wish you are here)

Annotations? WTMFCB! He is selfish... saving himself from the embarrassment? I was unhappy and filled with anger. I'm at fault, but he is too. I did make the effort to consult him on the technical drawings... but still, they are shits! & he pushed them to me which I didn't mind, as it is my project. But why does he has to add on to the comments, when the drawings are checked by him. I could have tell everyone on the spot he checked the technical drawings. But did I? To be fair, I am to be blame for the last minute consultation. But hey, I'm not the only one looking for him then. I never wanted to consult him, but the last time... he told me he was unhappy for I never bother to look for him. He said he was worry. So I promised myself to be good, and show him the respect. But in the end, what the fuck do I get? Whats more putting good words for him. Fuck myself for believing that he will be of help. Fine, if I've the last chance to speak up... I will tell everyone I do everything myself... and all these shits please "credit" to me and not him, my "supervisor"? So he won't feel embarrassed by me. If that makes him happy, I will do so. Trust me. I will. & You are wrong if you think I am proud and do not need any help from him or anyone. The truth is I needed. But he is not of help. Whatever help I asked from him, I didn't get it. I do know he do try to help. But it fails. Because I never get a reply to the help I needed. & the times I want to look for him, he would be busy. But still, he stayed for awhile. Then again, why does he has to tell me he is tired. I asked for less than an hour of his time. Tell you, they pity me! They got their supervisors to stay for them, to help them... but I don't have! I am not the only one who doesn't have him though. So why do I have to look for him again! To show him the respect. But I'm sorry. Not anymore. I'm stubborn. But if you are in my shoes, you will understand how bad I feel... if not... you will never.

If they are willing to hear my harsh feedbacks, I will throw all my unhappiness out.

Whatever man! Sucks to be me.

& I made up my mind, no UNI for me. I'm not going to continue in studies, even though my daddy's friend is willing to sponsor part of the school fee. But I don't want to be a disappoint. I don't want the life I am having now for the next 3 - 5 years. I want to be doing what I want to do. Period.

jqMEow |

be happy.
love life.

09 July 1990

Typical ♋ian;
I'm a suffering soul and sometimes lose control of my emotions. I need you to be understanding and not give up on me.

I don't want to own anything until I know I've found the place where me and things belong together.

✉ tan.jiaqi@live.com

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