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Wednesday, September 2, 2009
2:57 PM

What you are most afraid of is where your greatest rewards are.

"If all you had to do was wish for something and you would have it, life would be pretty boring, wouldn't it? God placed barriers between us and what we want, so we can enjoy interesting and satisfying lives. God hid our biggest rewards behind the highest barriers - our deepest fears. God wants us to face our fears, and hold ground in their presence, and let them go, and that's how we get out biggest rewards. What are you most afraid of? Say it, just start by saying it."

Sooooo I googled for a list of phobias. It's interesting, I found out I've more fears than I remembered. But one that I really really have to overcome is the fear of presenting. My mind always goes blank/wonders away when I begin to speak, even when I'm much prepare. Hai.

Anyway it is Wednesday today, I have 2 days more to Studio Project presentation. I should start continuing my development last night/today morning after Borneo Motors presentation, but I didn't.

Yesterday I had Western Chow for dinner with Lisa, Nerissa, Serena, Shufen and Vivian. I know it had been awhile since I hang out with them... I still feel the sense of belonging. We had much laughter talking about 10 years down the road blah blah blah! After, I headed to grandmother's place nearby. Mum and brother were there helping to paint the walls, and I surfed the net till... "why I don't have a portrait of myself in 2008/2009 photo folders?" came into my mind as I had a difficult time finding a photo for submission earlier in the day. Yada yada, camwhore!!! Oh suddenly I miss those ol' days when I pick up my camera, and snap snap snap. Now, I don't do that much... think I'm too ugly, -____- those pimples and eye bags... sighhhhhhhhhh! Again, I dozed off at grandmother's bed♥

How I wish I can overnight at her place, but I had sch today. In the end, I'm at home now. MC again, after less than a month. The previous time was high fever, and now I had ears infection! Serious for the right ear, and it is blocked now. I can't hear on my right ear. Z.

[laughs] I just had a chat with mummy, on her school days in Paya Lebar. Nothing much... but it kinda reminds me of myself back in primary/secondary schools...

Back to reality, back to polytechnic. Now, I seriously have to put thoughts into my studio... the programme, the site, etc...

Update 02.09 11:56PM/Aflame
Buddy promised we'll be travelling together after we graduate, and I'm really looking forward to the day I get out of Singapore with the friends. Hope bestie and the rest are on too, then it'll be funshyt man! I also wanna be out with sisters, girlfriends, bloggers etc... to BKK or anywhere shiok. Soooo I must start saving now now now. But after I shop during this holiday please, lol.

jqMEow |

be happy.
love life.

09 July 1990

Typical ♋ian;
I'm a suffering soul and sometimes lose control of my emotions. I need you to be understanding and not give up on me.

I don't want to own anything until I know I've found the place where me and things belong together.

✉ tan.jiaqi@live.com

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