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Wednesday, August 26, 2009
5:01 AM


What an hour! But I need to be here, to cry my pain out...

I've 1. borneo motors showroom (group), 2. furniture design competition (individual), 3. studio project (fyp), and an additional 4. English O-level oral... going on. Submission datelines are around the corner, next week! But none from the list is complete to expectation. I'm struck and not moving on... freaking shitty!!! I feel depressed.

Now, I've been doing the showroom scaled model since yesterday 11am (excluding the time practising for English Oral), but NOTHINIG IS BEING BUILT! Y'know why, because the proposed plan/layout is not out yet. WHICH MEANT NO EXACT MEASUREMENT OF AREAS! It is just a rough idea in my bursting brain. I tried to visualise, no, I meant as I hand draw the plan, I figure out more problems... like this and that cannot fix in here, and if I change it this way then it will be out of concept, blah blah blah!!! PISSED OFF. PEK CHEY. VERY PISSED OFF! Maybe I'm beginning to dislike doing model eh...? Like no, seriously I love model-making (whether to scale or not to scale)! That is my best, why hate it. I still think if the proposed plan/layout is completed, I won't have such big problem. I should be able to complete the model sooner than this. Looking at the incomplete plan, visualise the model... hai, tonight will be another late night after today's.

A few days back, on the Sunday night... it was sleep-less! I struggled throughout the whole of Sunday till Monday 8am, to get a little more of my studio project done so I can do the presentation. That night, I see my friends struggling, doing theirs too. At least I know it wasn't me only. Then I had to be in sch till 6pm, only dozed off for 10 mins. But tonight, there is no one who I can rant to. Everyone should prolly be sleeping now? SIGH! I don't feel like doing it anymore, unless the plan is swee swee done. I don't know, I'm tired, very... drop tears. Y'see I aim for better than ok (average), sometimes I should just anyhow eh.

Aiya, I hate this... maybe because of the songs I'm listening now, making me tears. Or these tears were accumulated over the weeks. TOO MUCH TO DO, TOO LITTLE TIME. NO HELP. TRYING TO SURVIVE. Anyway, luckily I skipped few hours to meet Kaixin to practise English oral... pretty useful, because I laughed non-stop. Hmm, thinking if I've the time to meet her later in the afternoon. I hope I've, or even if I don't I'll still skip out. I don't wanna keep silent for the picture and conversation parts again, this second time I'm taking it. If I do so, I'm a retard; waste the money, time, effort only. AH FRIDAY IS JUST TWO DAYS AWAY. 14:15 must be at Pierce Secondary, eee yer.. I'll feel damn weird back in other's secondary school. Hai whatever, no time to worry for that. Practise more! But where got time... model to be completed by tomorrow morning, and I really heck care after that liao.

To chiong my furniture design competition, which is to be submitted by next Monday! I'm re-designing it, so need some time to think etc. Then, on the same Monday, I prolly staying with my group to rush for the presentation on the Tuesday morning/afternoon. I'm packed with all these shyt to next Friday, after Studio Presentation. So no rest after Tuesday Presentation... I won't be surprise if I fall sick again, I coughed since Monday.

So I didn't have the time to/for 1. celebrate Ben's birthday with the ol' friends (Bobby asked me along, and I'm very sad I can't make it), 2. final destination with bloggers this friday?, 3. meet the girlfriends this Saturday for..., 4. etc etc etc!

I don't know to ask for time to be slower so I can rush my projects etc, or faster so I can have my holiday after the next Friday?!.


Actually holiday for me will be just 3 days... Saturday, Sunday and Monday, then I'm out to work for a week as sales assistant. With Kaixin. Hopefully we get the same shift, heh. And after, I prolly prolly will be back working for my boss since he asked me about it. So I DON'T REALLY HAVE A PROPER HOLIDAY, unless I request not to work on the Saturday, I don't know. Seriously seriously, I need to get out of Singapore. SINGAPORE IS STRESSFUL LEH.

Oh well, I didn't realise I typed so longgg. I don't feel this a waste of time, because I vent out.. and am trying to stop worrying, if not I won't be able to get things done. To be frank, I had been trying my best to keep my tears. I reminded myself, no tear after presentation! NOT IN FRONT OF THE LECTURERS. As the previous semester, tears kinda degraded me + my unprepareness, maybe. WHATEVER, I've to stay stronger... better not to cry in front of my parents, especially.

MODEL, ORAL, FURNITURE DESIGN, STUDIO! DO MY BEST, DON'T KILL THEM. HAHAHA! BEDTIME @ 0618AM, when prolly others are waking up to go sch. Me skipping again.. sighhhhh.

Yet again, I miss fav boy, :(
P.S If I tell you, maybe a joke/riddle can brighten my day. Will you?

jqMEow |

be happy.
love life.

09 July 1990

Typical ♋ian;
I'm a suffering soul and sometimes lose control of my emotions. I need you to be understanding and not give up on me.

I don't want to own anything until I know I've found the place where me and things belong together.

✉ tan.jiaqi@live.com

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