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Live, without regret;
Sunday, June 28, 2009
2:29 AM

Should I CASH OUT NOW?


I h8 this hour of the night when I'm not asleep, having feeling and thoughts overwhelming me. It had been so far (so good) in my life. Learning to be happy as I feel fresh with a smile within, don't you. But why, why is it... why is it whenever I'm in a happy mood, there is bound to be a friend who feel depressed. I of course won't be rejoicing for my happiness and neglect my friend who need someone to be there for him/her. I won't wanna be selfish, but sometimes... or rather everytime, after consoling the friend on relationship problem especially, the feeling I h8 most will be back. I know I'm not mentally prepare neither am I emotionally stable. But I can't just turn my back at someone who called for me, will you. I guess not. I will always go along with the conversation, being the listening ear, giving advise. It is sucha loser me to give advices when I screwed up my only relationhip in the past. I want to be there for my friends, but I suck at this. And tonight, I broke down... after being there for two friends, and neglected one. I always feel like an angel when my friend feel better, and I feel lousy when I gave up being there for my friend. The worst feeling was the one who I neglected is someone who wants me to be happy, and won't mind me not being there when he is down. It is not once I did this, but many times if I remember. Hai, I can't be anywhere near perfect but I always try...




jqMEow |

be happy.
love life.

+齐meow
09 July 1990

Typical ♋ian;
I'm a suffering soul and sometimes lose control of my emotions. I need you to be understanding and not give up on me.

I don't want to own anything until I know I've found the place where me and things belong together.

✉ tan.jiaqi@live.com

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